Are we caught up with the need of marriages in urban India?

I was listening to a podcast recently I got a perspective into why marriages these days do not work as much as they used to. While it can easily be blanketed under temperament or adjustment related issues; I do believe it goes much deeper than that, very modern but the very pivotal.

Now, considering the fact that more and more women today are self-aware, financially independent and vocal about their needs and feelings, shouldn’t the reason to get into marriages now cater to this population or their growing agency, independence, and life being different from their mothers’ generation. While our mothers may be sort of okay with only financial support; women today look for companionship.

And men? What do they do? Have they been taught to live with women who are not dependent on them financially but more so emotionally? Isn’t it obvious that men feel lost in marriages today and a little bit behind because the roles that were defined for them by generations are now no more relevant in the urban. Isn’t it apparent that men and women are living in two different worlds. The man is no longer the only provider, and the woman is no longer the only nurturer.

I would like to believe that deep down we are all hopeless romantics who still believe in the institution of marriage and would like marriages to work. Maybe it’s time we re-think the need of marriages. It’s important that a man reflects on why he would still like to get married or what he seeks out of this relationship considering that women these days are not looking for financial support and more importantly that getting married for family does not work in present day scenario.

Can we focus more on raising emotionally available men, effective communicators who take steps to de-escalate a conflict rather than get offensive? Can women also reflect on what they need in a marriage and does necessary homework in knowing what they are getting into or what is their man’s expectations so that couples do not feel lost in these changing dynamics. And, and, and please, I have to say this… Can woman and man both step out of their houses before they get married and start on an equal footing?